I look for patterns.

Support is available

Note to self.

And, not surprisingly, note to others…

…

I look for patterns.

In many contexts, I’d like to think I’ve noticed some which are fairly universal.

That is my aim, anyway.

In the specific context of this human-to-human thing, there are two reminders which I keep close:

1) Someone is experiencing what you are experiencing and/or has gone through what you are going through.

2) Someone can offer you support, if you want it.

In other words, you are not alone, and, others can relate.

The reminder only goes so far, however. The trick is, of course, to REACH OUT, and, to ACCEPT THE SUPPORT IN THE WAY THAT IT APPEARS.

In an interview last year, Lisa Kudrow spoke of her friendship with Conan O’brien. In a nutshell, she said the secret to Conan’s success, so to speak, and to what makes Conan so valuable for his family and his friends is the simply fact that he prioritizes his relationships. He always reaches out, checks in, strengthens the connection, and, when necessary, asks for what he needs.

I’ve been “doing what I do” now for over a decade. In so many ways, it has actually only gotten better, and even easier. Yah, I “work hard”, and I’m far from lazy. But the majority of my effort, in all sincerity, truly does go into just MAINTAINING and IMPROVING my support network. Honestly. It is ALL about relationships, giving and receiving and connecting in whatever way is possible.

Absolutely nothing (and I am almost NEVER an absolutist) I have done is solely because of me. In some way, it has always been because I have been reminded of the fact that I am not alone, and because support—even if I didn’t want it—was there.

Seeing support is like playing a game. A rubric’s cube, even. Something can always move. It’s not always obvious, but it is always available.